Dating a married younger man
We were both in the literary industry and connected on social media, but I’d never met him in person. Sitting in my therapist’s office, I told her about David’s invitation.
And based on what I could tell from his online persona, he was married. I’ve caused the demise of many,” I wrote, declining his offer, and clicked Send. “The last thing you need is another literary married man,” she said, referring to my ex, a successful writer whom I hadn’t been able to get over for years. I told myself I’d go just to get more information, but if it turned out that he was in fact married, I wasn’t interested.
But in the muted light of my apartment that day, I made a decision that I was in for the long haul.
I decided that I’d stand by him through his separation and divorce, no matter how painful, emotionally trying, and financially draining it was.
It’s going to be hard to get over you, I thought, closing my eyes trying to freeze this moment at the very beginning that I already knew was catapulting towards an end.
Then I leaned in and kissed him, pulling him towards me.
David told me that he wasn’t happy in his marriage but had children and planned to stay married for his kids, until his youngest—who was eight months old—graduated from high school.Only a week and a half after meeting him, I was having a full-blown affair with a married man and could no longer recognize my life.I’d been unemployed for almost a year and spent most of my time alone, on top of which I hadn’t dated or had sex in the four years I’d been hung up on my ex.We weren’t in touch anymore, but a few months earlier I’d been devastated when I found out he’d recently gotten married. Never having had an affair with a married man, I did have a history of dating guys with varying degrees of unavailability and knew how painful it was. Sitting in the upscale restaurant waiting for him to arrive, I stared at the same line in the book I was reading over and over again, but the words were swimming in front of my eyes, and I couldn’t focus.I had no desire to put myself in that situation again. When he walked in, the first thing I noticed as he reached to hug me was his wedding ring.